The Compass

A Daily Personal Reflection & Small Group Discussion Guide

by John Hay, Jr.
Senior Pastor, West Morris Street Free Methodist Church

Fifth in the Series: "Forgiven and Forgiving"

Forgiveness and Healing

Colossians 3:1-17

TERRAIN WE'VE COVERED
We've discovered a bit about forgiveness thus far in our exploration. Here's a brief summary

FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a distinguishing hallmark of authentic Christian faith. When we confess our sins, we are forgiven completely. What we could not--cannot-do, Jesus has accomplished in our behalf through His death and resurrection. Have you accepted his full forgiveness? If so, you know the freedom of forgiveness. Not only is your heart set free from guilt and shame, you are free--and empowered--to forgive others. We are free to forgive--to release from our need to punish or see punished--anyone who harms, hurts, offends, disparages, or shuns us. From petty offenses to life-scarring damage, we can forgive. We don't do this in our own strength; we pray for grace to offer others what we ourselves have received. The commitment and grace to forgive becomes the greatest testimony to being like Jesus the world will ever witness.

FORGIVENESS MAY TAKE TIME Forgiving for a significant trauma is often a painful process that ends in freedom and reconciliation. Forgiveness is the process of coming to terms with an enemy whereby s/he is held accountable for wrong but not paid back evil. It involves healing our own memory and our hearts being infused with God's love for an enemy. Lewis Smedes points out the following aspects in the process of forgiveness. We forgive: (1) slowly, (2) with a little understanding, (3) often in confusion, (4) sometimes with anger left over, (5) a little at a time, (6) freely, or not at all, and (7) with a fundamental feeling.

TRACKING THE WORD TODAY
Forgiveness is closely linked to healing: being forgiven and being forgiving is at the heart of healing

1. When Jesus heals, he addresses sources beyond symptoms, including forgiveness.

Luke 5:17-26

2. Forgiveness is the process of healing the hurts we don't deserve.

Colossians 3:12-14

A. It is a process

B. It is deeply personal

C. It is not to be mistaken for:
- Just forgetting
- "Time heals all wounds"
- Our own change of heart
- Kiss and make up
- Merely the words

D. It often occurs in these stages (Lewis Smedes):
1. We hurt
2. We hate
3. We heal
4. We come together

3. How to make progress in the process of a healing forgiveness.

Colossians 3:5-17

Six steps offered by Walter Wangerin:

A. Be realistic with yourself
B. Remember your own forgiveness
C. Sacrifice your rights in prayer
D. Tell the sinner their sin and your forgiveness
E. Follow your words with actions

GROWTH & ACTION POINTS
Explore and respond to the following statements in personal journaling and/or small group discussion

1. If you have identified a real "unforgivable" hurt, do you believe that Jesus is able to bring healing forgiveness for it? If so, are you now willing to commit to a process of forgiveness? What first steps do you need to make? What help do you need to take them?

2. Grace is very much a part of the process of forgiveness. It changes forgiving others from a work of self-effort and self-righteousness into a God-glorifying gift. How has grace empowered you to forgive? Will you now trust God for grace to forgive what remains?

3. Journal or discuss: How do you see forgiveness as both a commitment and a grace working in a particular relationship or situation you have grappled with?

MARKINGS & WAYPOINTS
Insights on forgiveness by Lewis Smedes

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."

"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything... We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."

RESPONSES & OPPORTUNITIES TO ENGAGE
Want to explore The Compass with others? Have questions?

If you'd like to connect with others who are working weekly with The Compass, e-mail me or call the church office (317.632.8311)

If you have questions about Scriptures or some of the questions, or just want to share what your are discovering through The Compass, you are welcome to e-mail me.

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